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Social networks: misuse, absolute loneliness

Reflecting on how we use them and on the convenience of finding a balance between virtual and personal relationships has led the “Genuine People’s Club” to celebrate the Day without internet.

The appointment took place the day before yesterday in the Casa Vacas of the Madrid park of El Retiro. The day was spun through different activities, conferences and cultural meetings.

The initiative was led by Jose DeConde, a graduate in Sports Sciences, specialized in sports management in the past, and today personal relations coach.

DeConde explained to EFEsalud that the day without internet was born 20 years ago, and then died.

“This year we have rescued it and I suppose it has some staff, because sometimes one is forced to networks, depending on their use and the approval of others to everything that is posted or published.

In his opinion, this is a good social moment to reflect on our use of social networks:

“Not to demonize them or fight against them but to try to balance our real life, more physical and combine it with more online life.

Among the dangers that lurk over a misuse of networks points to the need for acceptance and recognition “giving a false image of us, where we can more appear, posture … we need to return to ourselves, to respect each other, to love each other”.

He also considers that this posture, if it is permanent, leads to isolation, generates anxiety, anguish and depression.

And all this “because we are projecting an image of ourselves that is not real and we are being dishonest with ourselves and others by giving a false appearance of joy, luxury or success, which then many times is not real”.

Existential emptiness
A chemist by training, Rocio Gómez Sanabria is director of the Family Coaching School and an expert in non-violent communication.

She considers as DeConde that networks are a great thing, but with misuse “they can take you to a place where you can feel very lonely”.

“With abuse comes existential emptiness. This feeling that you are alone even though you are surrounded by people.

In her opinion, it has a lot to do with the quality and depth of relationships, if you can’t talk more than mild opinions or you can’t talk about feelings…”.

Gómez Sanabria defends that depending on the quality of our relationships, this is how our happiness goes and, in order to get out of the unique and exclusive world of networks, he invites us, for example, to do something for someone, or not to consult our mobile phone as soon as we get up in the morning, to give ourselves at least half an hour before connecting it.

This initiative has also been joined by Hada García Cöck, coach and psychologist specializing in food and habits.

Her presentation is especially aimed at young people and warns them about the fact that so-called influencers cannot serve as role models.

“When we see an influencer with a perfect body, a perfect life, an ideal image, we have to realise that her job is to show herself like this, and therefore we cannot compare ourselves”.

“We forget that their job is to do well in networks. They dedicate themselves to it and they are paid for it, and when comparing us we feel that our life is mediocre and we have to realize that it is not our reality”.

Hada believes that what happens to young people today is that they are constantly bombarded by messages and images from networks that lead them to want to achieve an impossible perfection that leads to frustration.

In order to get out of the trap he advises trying to be present in the networks only 30 minutes a day because if “we control the networks we control our lives, we gain happiness, there is more time to read, go out, and really relate to others”.

Thinking about what surrounds us
Mª Ángeles Quesada is a philosopher specialized in Socratic dialogue and has also joined this day of the Day without internet.

Quesada has been bringing philosophy to the street for years, trying to put in our minds “busy and full of noise the worm to stop and think about what surrounds us, about the issues that concern us”.

That’s why she says it’s important for her to make people think if the technology is ours, “if we can give it a good or bad use or if it’s a little directed and takes us to a certain place, and therefore, there are things that do not let us see …”.

“They make us feel coerced, publish a certain image in instagram, very polished, very beautiful … that leads us to express ourselves as we are not.

Actually, he explains, it has a lot to do with a panoptic structure.

The panoptic structure was a type of prison architecture devised by the utilitarian philosopher Jeremy Bentham towards the end of the 18th century. The key was that the inmates did not see the guard, they knew that they could be observed at any moment, but they did not know the exact moment and this led them to self-censor their behaviour.

And the same thing happens in networks, people “self-regulate showing a completely self-directed image.

“The feeling that we are free is totally false because our relationship is directed and coerced.

In addition, he agrees with the analysis that networks are tools that hook, take time away from real life, from authentic relationships that have more to do with sharing feelings, with friendship, with commitment, with physical time together, with conversations and not just the mere transmission of information.

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